Bound by Piper Malone

Author:Piper Malone
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: Romance, Fiction
ISBN: 9780991320141
Publisher: Piper Malone
Published: 2016-09-25T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

Kat

I hate when I can’t think. I’m better when I’m a vodka-infused karaoke queen. Ideas flow when I’m loose.

Now my entire body feels like a cork rammed into a hole with a mallet. My chest hurts, stomach aches from the constant pressure. If I were a cartoon character, my eyes would be bugging out.

I woke up this morning and realized the clock is ticking. I have a deadline for the pitch. I have no clue what to do. I wandered around my apartment and started to worry. The fears that I won’t be able to perform on this task snowballed into thinking all the horrible things I say to myself when I’m down.

It’s stress. I can’t eat. My intake has been coffee and, now, nicotine.

My eyes squeeze shut from the pressure of the deep drag on my cigarette. It’s only one. Technically, it’s only one pack.

On any other day, I wouldn’t smoke outside my office. People would see me and no one sees me succumb to my nasty secret habit. I know it’s awful. I’ve seen the hateful looks of nonsmokers as they pass by the dense cloud of carcinogens hanging in the air.

They can kiss my ass. I need to work this out.

Smoking has helped with mental roadblocks in the past. It is only one and only to help the cause.

It’s a self-serving rationalization, I know, but rationalization is your friend. Always. The key to a solid rationalization is to keep it to yourself. Anyone else will shit on your parade and force you to see that the only thing you are doing is putting a flimsy bandage on a gaping wound.

I blow out another smoky, useless Band-Aid before flicking the butt into the appropriate receptacle. That’s my last one…for now.

Once inside the building, I wave my badge at the weekend security officer who barely lifts his attention from his phone. The elevator whisks me to my office, blissfully silent and free from distraction. I tried to work at home but my motivation to begin this project stalled before it started. I can’t stop thinking about Blake. I’m so worried he’s going to wake up next to me and realize that I’m a lost cause. I’m nervous about what this project means for my career. This pitch could be good press for the company and huge support for the community, but I can’t dig in because I’m a horrible person and cannot find a single organization to focus my energy on. I’ve looked at almost all the nonprofit agencies in Boston and, while they are all worthy and doing amazing work, none of them are clicking with me.

Because you are a chick who likes booze and boys and has never been invited to a tea party because it’s just a little too civilized.

A defeated groan falls from my mouth before I flop over on my desk. A vision of my beautiful house floats in my mind. It’s so gorgeous. The paint on the walls is rich and vibrant, accenting my style while incorporating rustic pieces to symbolize Blake and our union.

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